Run! Run as if the Zombies Are After You!

The latest pile of crap to come flying in the faces of fat people is this article, sent by way of my friend Heather, saying fat is socially contagious. The article's totally unscientific science is utterly astounding, as once again some researchers seem to have forgotten that correlation is not causation.

My husband and I will have been married seven years on Sunday, and as anyone who knows us can assure you, our bodies have not grown to resemble one another's in any way. I have put on weight, and my husband has stayed the exact same weight of 125 pounds. I don't know if that means he is immune or that I am a "sufferer" but not a "carrier" of the (cue the scary music) fat ass virus! It seems I also am immune to thinness. Well, doggone. Donutbuzz and Jelly-filled may just hold the key to this dreadful contagion.

Until our extraordinary immune systems are analyzed and exploited to the benefit of the world's population, there are some precautions you should take. Apparently, if I call you a friend, I won't make you fat. But if you also call me a friend, you're in trouble. One-way friendships with me are, therefore, quite safe. Just, whatever you do, don't reciprocate!

Also, beware! The researchers claim that even a long-distance relationship with a fat person can cause one to become fat. It is yet to be determined if blog links are dangerous, but let's not take any chances. Just to be safe, run for your lives! Save yourselves! De-link me!